


As Blue As You

by Books in the Blood (WholockHobbit88)



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Crying, Emotional release, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:20:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28818423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WholockHobbit88/pseuds/Books%20in%20the%20Blood
Summary: Yeonjun is sad one day and Kai does a good job comforting him
Relationships: Choi Yeonjun & Huening Kai
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	As Blue As You

Yeonjun was having an off day. It wasn't completely unusual; his moods could sometimes come in waves. And sometimes those waves were of sadness; he was covered with a wave of sadness so dark it felt like he was trying to walk around outside at night without a flashlight. He knew he had to ride it out; no one could fix it so he just accepted he was going to have a down day.

So he had done his best to put on a happy face as he practiced with the other guys and then as they went out to eat. No one seemed to notice that his smile was fake or that he was trying to hold back tears. Kai had asked if he was sick when he left much of his dinner uneaten but when he had said that he just wasn't hungry, he hadn't commented more.

When they had come home, Yeonjun quietly went off to his room, closed the door and lay down on the bed. He could hear the voices and laughter of his friends muffled off in the other room; he felt so alone. He didn't know why; he knew he could easily join them so he wasn't really alone. But the little dark cloud in head wouldn't let him.Yeonjun buried his face in his pillow, feeling the tears gathering eyes already. And since he was finally, finally alone, he let them fall. Hot tears ran down his cheeks and got absorbed into his pillow which also muffled the sound. The last thing he wanted was for everyone to know he was crying; they might ask him what was wrong and try to fix it. Then he would sound crazy because he would say that he didn't know why he was crying. And then who would be sympathetic when he even didn't know why he was upset?

It felt like such a relief in a way, just to let go. Even though the crying was making his eyes sting and his face get hot, the sadness inside his chest wasn't as heavy when he was crying.And then there was a knock at the door that startled him. Yeonjun pushed himself just enough up from the pillow to answer.

Sniffling as quietly as he could, he said, "Yes?"

"Hey, Yeonjun are you okay?" Kai quietly asked through the door.

Yeonjun jumped, sitting up quickly on the edge of the bed and wiping the tears from his face as if Kai could see him through the door. Why was he asking if he was okay? Had his crying been too loud after all? He sure hoped not; that was just embarrassing.

"I'm fine Kai, just tired" Yeonjun said through the door trying to sound natural.

There was a short pause. "Can you open the door?" Kai asked after a while.

Yeonjun cringed; Kai must have not been convinced. He wiped his face again, making sure it was dry and forced a fake smile on his face.

"What?" Yeonjun asked, a little more forcefully than he had intended but glad that his voice at least sounded normal.But apparently he didn't look very normal because as soon as he looked at Kai his face fell.

"Yeonjun…..you've been crying. Your eyes are all red" Kai said, concern etched across his face.

”What? No…. I haven't crying. I'm fine. I told you I'm just tired" Yeonjun said nonchalantly, looking down the hallway and hoping none of the other guys could hear them.

And he was fine...at least he wanted Kai and everyone else to think he was. But it was as if Kai could see completely through him.

Concern was still etched on his face, his eyes glued onto Yeonjun's red tinted ones. Kai put his hand on Yeonjun's arm and just that small little bit of contact made Yeonjun fill something ache inside him.

"Yeonjun, you're always taking care of me...of the others and you do so great. But just because you're the oldest and the one who takes care of us doesn't mean you have to be strong all the time" Kai said quietly, his voice full of understanding and care. His hand was still warm and comforting on Yeonjun.

"You know, it's okay to cry." Kai said, giving Yeonjun's arm a squeeze.

And for some reason it was like those words opened up a floodgate inside Yeonjun. As soon as Kai said it, Yeonjun promptly burst into tears.

He'd been barely holding on anyway. He had wanted to cry so desperately but just as desperately he had been convinced it was something he should hide, something he shouldn't have wanted to do at all. Hearing Kai tell him it was okay was all he needed to let go.

Tears rushed hotly from his eyes as Kai pushed him gently back into the room and shut the door. He let Kai take his hand and lead him over to the bed like a child, his chest feeling like it was caving in with the force of tears.Kai sat down on the edge of the bed and guided Yeonjun to sit next to him. Grabbing his shoulders gently, Kai laid Yeonjun's head in his lap. Tears ran down the side of his face, soaking into the fabric of Kai's pants but he didn't seem to mind.

Yeonjun let the sobs rack his body, let the tears rush out of his eyes until there was none left. Kai ran his hand through Yeonjun's hair, his cool fingers feeling good against Yeonjun's fevered skin, occasionally whispering things to him like "that's a good boy" or "just let it all out."

When his nose became clogged with snot so that he sniffled heavily, Kai gave him tissues; he soon had a pile of them used on the bed next to him.

It all felt strangely therapeutic somehow. Yeonjun was used to the dark cloud of sadness that sometimes plagued him and how he did feel better after crying at the end of those days. It felt like a painful pressure that needed to be released. This was similar but different too. Because he was and crying and that hurt; his eyes, his nose, his heart. But Kai being there with him didn't hurt; it felt pretty good. It felt nice to be held, Kai's little, gentle touches to his head or rubbing his arm comforted him. It felt good to hear him reassure him it was okay to feel the way he did as let go. It felt nice for him just to be here, to see him and stay.

Eventually the sobs began to slow and Yeonjun could feel the tears begin to stop rushing so fast. Taking a great shuddering deep breath, Yeonjun wiped the last of the tears from his face and attempted to sit up. He still felt kind of sad but it wasn't the same. It was as if some huge weight had been lifted away from inside him and was no longer crushing him.Yeonjun pushed himself up so that he was sitting next to Kai. Now that he was done crying he felt a wave of embarrassment and didn't know what to say. He had completely and totally fallen apart; it wasn't like him to do that and he didn't know what to say. He was glad that his cheeks were red from the crying so that Kai couldn't see how embarrassed he was.

What should he say? Sorry? Thanks? Try to downplay it somehow? No doubt it was going to be awkward or at the least Kai was going to ask him why he was so upset and what was he going to say then? That he just didn't know? It sounded crazy.Luckily, he didn't have to say anything.

Kai put a hand on his arm again; that little bit of contact was more comforting than he would have thought.

"Feel better?" Kai asked simply.

Yeonjun's voice was rough when he spoke. "A little bit" he said honestly.

"What do you need now?" Kai asked him.

Yeonjun was surprised by that response. He expected Kai to ask him to talk or tell him what was wrong, to want to fix it like people usually wanted to. But he didn't. He was just there; he was still trying to take care of Yeonjun. And though that made him feel a little guilty, like he shouldn't have wanted or needed help, it was mostly just a relief.He didn't overthink his answer.

"I need…..to sleep. I'm really tired" he said after a moment. As soon as he said it he realized how drained he really was.

"How about we do this" Kai said, still patting Yeonjun's arm gently. "I'll go get a snack while you put your pajamas on and then we'll go to sleep."

"I'm not hungry" Yeonjun said. His stomach ached dully but he was sure that was because he'd cried so hard. He remembered how his stomach had turned at the sight of his dinner when he'd just wanted to cry.

"You didn't eat anything at dinner. That's not good for you. We'll have a small snack and then go to sleep" Kai said finally.

"You're going to stay with me?" Yeonjun asked, confused. Kai made it sound like he was going to go to sleep with him.

Kai gave him a warm smile, the kind that instantly made people like him. "Of course I am, silly…..I'm not going to leave you" he said.

And with that Kai went to go get the food, leaving Yeonjun feeling kind of confused but mostly comforted. He wasn't used to being taken care of like that but he kind of liked it.Yeonjun quickly changed into his pajamas while Kai was gone and was sitting on the edge of the bed when he returned, in his own pajamas and with a plate of fruit.

Yeonjun's stomach was a strange mix of feelings when he saw Kai come back in and close the door,dressed for bed. He was strangely relieved to not have to sleep alone, to have Kai near him as he drifted into unconsciousness as he was still feeling very vulnerable and raw. But he knew that the others must have noticed him and asked him what was going on.

"What…..what did you say to everyone?" Yeonjun asked hesitantly as Kai set the plate on the bed and sat down next to him, afraid of the answer.

Kai didn't even seem bothered at all. He simply shrugged and said, "I told them you weren't feeling well and I was taking care of you. No big deal" and then before Yeonjun could say anything Kai was pushing slices of orange and banana at him so that his mouth was so full that he couldn't argue or say thing to voice his worry.

And though at first that annoyed him, as he continued to chew his food and think about it more he decided that he'd just let it drift out of his head. He liked to know things for himself, to see and do them for himself but this time, just for once he decided to accept that someone else, Kai, had taken care of everything and it was okay because he said it was that was that.

Yeonjun still wasn't feeling hungry but Kai prodded him into eating by eating one piece for each piece Yeonjun ate, occasionally holding up a piece of orange over his lips or banana slices over his eyes to make silly faces that actually managed to make Yeonjun laugh. After finishing the snack and a bottle of water Kai insured he drank Yeonjun finally crawled under the covers, completely exhausted.

Though he was exhausted he found he couldn't sleep instantly. But oddly that was okay; he wasn't tossing and turning endlessly in the dark waiting for sleep, feeling anxious and afraid. He was content, the warm weight of Kai's body lying behind him, his arm draped over Yeonjun. All of the sadness had left his body, fizzling out and leaving behind a warm sense of satisfaction.Yeonjun was looking out the window at the night city scape when suddenly the sky lit up with bursts of color; blue, yellow and pink.

”Hey, Kai" Yeonjun whispered, patting his hand, "look….. someone is letting off fireworks."

Kai was nearly asleep but he stirred sleepily when Yeonjun touched his hand. He pushed himself up slightly in bed so he could see over Yeonjun's shoulder to the window. Yeonjun saw him give a tiny smile, the reflection of the fireworks dancing across his face.

"Beautiful" he said sleepily, his arm around Yeonjun squeezing tighter. "You know, sometimes when you have a bad day, all you need is just one good thing. This could be your one good thing for today."

"Yeah...I think it is" Yeonjun said, peace and affection and warmth spreading through him. And even though he was staring at the fireworks, he was focused on holding the warm hand that was resting against his chest.

Yes …this was definitely the one good thing for today.


End file.
